I’d like to say “It’s simple really.” Do the dishes, do the laundry, buy coffee. Could it really be that easy? Maybe I should say that one again because it can get you major points and a “I LOVE you” from your spouse. Buy COFFEE! Buy chocolate. Do I need to repeat that one? I don’t think so.
Offer to get up with the baby in the night. Run a bath for your wife. Let your husband go have a beer with a buddy. Tell her what a good mother she is. Tell him you love seeing your baby in his arms. Enjoy the little moments. Like when your baby laughs, when they look cute bundled up in a towel after their bath. Talk about it ALL. Because you’re in this together. You made this person together and the silly little moments are YOURS. No one else will care as much as your spouse about how they picked up a toy, held it to their ear and said dada like they we’re talking on the phone. No one will care as much as your spouse how the baby smiled while you sang a song from your childhood. Your spouse will. They will LOVE these moments the same as you love them. And together you will feel the connection of this family you created. And you will want MORE. You will want it all. Because you made it together.
Sometimes it isn’t that easy though … and over 90% of couples say they have stress in their marriage after their baby is born. What do you do if your most important daily task doesn’t align with your partner’s? How can you support each other and come to an understanding? Recently our team met with Barbara Buckner Suárez from Birth Happens. She is bringing a class, a movement really, to the Portland area called Becoming Us. This class breaks down THRIVING during this new time in your life into eight doable conversations. I would highly recommend searching her out before your baby arrives, before the sleep deprivation, before “birth happens.” LOL It’s your plan of action for thriving.
Understanding this new person living in your home can also bring calm to the days. What is a newborn’s rhythm? How do you prepare for caring for them? Mary from ItsaBelly is now offering “ItsaBaby” in the Milagros Boutique Family Room. She will talk about newborn behavior, sleep, comforting babies, breastfeeding and bottle feeding, finding resources and support, and anything else you want to ask! There will be lots of time for questions, so bring any concerns that you may have.
The biggest thing couples need to know is that you are not alone! There are resources out there and if you are overwhelmed it isn’t a sign that you are doing something “wrong.” REACH out to us and let our team help you find what works for your family. I look forward to hearing from you!
Elizabeth Benz
Postpartum Doula